At Palm Beach County Youth Services Department, we know that parents and guardians are the best source for having sensitive and difficult conversations with their children. But, like with all difficult conversations for parents, guidance and research is sometimes needed. The past year has presented many needs for difficult conversations on topics such as the pandemic, feelings of isolation, and difficulty with school. One of the most difficult topics is racism and interactions with law enforcement. Those conversations are very different for each family. Black parents often feel compelled to have “The Talk" early with their children. White parents may not give it much thought unless their children ask about something they saw on the news or on social media. We do not wish to tell any parent when or how to have this conversation, but offer potential responses to some frequently asked questions.

1.  Should parents talk to their children about the Derek Chauvin trial? As the nation exhales after the verdict, parents need to be prepared to have a conversation about the trial and racism.  Children are hearing about it and feeling the tension in the air. That tension is not limited to Minnesota. That tension is not limited to black families. Make sure you hold the conversation in a developmentally appropriate way. You know best what information your child can comprehend. Let your child lead the discussion and answer the questions they pose. It's okay not to know all the answers and express that to your child. The most important thing is to make your child feel safe. 
2. Should children watch the television coverage of the outcome?  Caution should be used for both parent and child in consuming too much television coverage. Some is very graphic and may be traumatizing. If your child watches any coverage, limit the amount to what is appropriate for their age and watch with them so you can address their questions and concerns.
3. What do you say to a child who is afraid law enforcement will hurt them? It is important for children to know that being a police officer does not make a person racist. In fact, most police officers do a great job, don't shoot their guns, and try to help and protect people. If you believe your child may feel unsafe during an interaction with law enforcement, develop a plan with them of what they might do or say during a police interaction.
4.  Where can I go for help if my child is experiencing fear, anxiety, depression that is affecting their day-to-day activities, sleep or eating habits? Help your child develop a coping menu or plan. A sample can be found here. There are many resources available to families.  Palm Beach County Youth Services Department has therapists and psychologists available. You can go to our website at www.pbcgov.com/youthservices, or call 561-242-5714. You can also call 2-1-1 to get additional resources.

Resources for parents to help guide discussions:

• For young children:  Something Happened in Our Town: A Child's Story about Racial Injustice, by Marianne Celano, Marietta Collins, and Ann Hazzard
• For teenagers: The Hate U Give, by Angie Thomas
• For white parents: Raising White Kids: Bringing Up Children in a Racially Unjust America, by Jennifer Harvey
• For parents to guide a discussion on race and racism with their child(ren): The Sesame Street in Communities https://sesamestreetincommunities.org/topics/racial-justice/
• Self-Care Toolkit from Association of Black Psychologists (https://www.abpsi.org/pdf/FamilyCommunitySelfCareToolKit.pdf)
• Racial Stress and Self Care for Parents  (https://www.apa.org/res/parent-resources/racial-stress-tool-kit.pdf )

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