​Laura Cruz, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist
Youth Services Department Education & Training Center

The way we choose to interact with those around us can have a big impact on our mental health. In general, there are three styles of communication that we can engage in when interacting with others: the aggressive style, the assertive style, and the passive style.

The aggressive style of communication is marked by a tendency to dominate others and disregard their opinions. Aggressive individuals have a tendency to argue or verbally threaten others in order to get their point across. This can lead to increased conflict and frustration.

The passive communication style is on the other end of the spectrum. Passive individuals have a tendency to avoid conflict. Although avoiding or walking away may be necessary in some situations, continually being passive can lead to others pushing one around and essentially, it can lead to being submissive to dominant individuals.

Despite the obvious negatives of these two communication styles, many people believe they must either resort to aggressive communication as a means of standing up for themselves or resort to passive communication as a means of avoiding conflict. The key to establishing a healthy style of communication, however, lies in finding the middle ground between these two styles.

The healthiest communication style is the assertive style. Assertive individuals stand up for themselves without disrespecting others. Assertive communication is characterized by expressing one’s opinions using direct language. Key traits of assertiveness entail good posture and direct eye contact. Thus, rather than threaten others or shut down during a disagreement, assertive individuals are firm and let others know what they are thinking and how they are feeling in a respectful manner.

For more information on the mental health benefits of engaging in assertive communication as well as tips on how to become an assertive communicator, click here or review the chart titled “Learning About Communication….Are You Like a Turtle, a Tiger or an Owl?”

If you would like more support on improving your communication skills, Palm Beach County offers free counseling services to all employees and their dependents through the Employee Assistance Program. For all residents of Palm Beach County with youth between the ages of 0-22, the Youth Services Department offers free therapy and parent education services as well.